Andrei Trostel

Spell Chceker is Agiasnt Me!

As a dyslexic person, I spell atrociously, so without spell check on programs, I would probably be unintelligible to the world. However, I have recently realized that over time spell check is slowly working against me, even mocking me! When I type on a word processor or even chat in Gmail I find myself spending more time in the spell check function searching for the correct word than I do actually typing.

Spell Check ABC icon Mozilla is the worst because it seems like it’s just giving me a strange look instead of trying to suggest the correct word. Like it’s saying to me, “Seriously Andrei, I have no idea what you’re trying to type here.” Sometimes it suggests words that start and end with the same letter to humor me, but that’s about the only similarity. For instance when I misspell the word “restaurant” (all the time) it usually just comes back with “No spelling suggestions” like it’s just rolling its eyes and laughing at me. So when it has no suggestions for the word I want, I usually end up typing it into Outlook or some other program with a spell checker to see if I can get better suggestions. I imagine all my programs virtually holding a conference together that goes something like this…

Firefox: OK guys, I have no clue what he wants. It starts with an “r” and ends with a “t,” any thoughts? I’ve got nothing here.

Explorer: Oh I know, I think it’s “retract.” But then why did he put all those other letters in there?

Word: Hmmmmm, what about “restart”? But that’s too short, too. Maybe we should all just crash and make him actually “restart” for being such a bad speller.

(All the programs laugh together)

Google: I think he meant to type “restraint,” which I wish he would actually show when attempting to spell.

(Giggles from the rest of the programs)

Outlook: See I thought it was something like “retardant,” what do you guys think?

Firefox: More like “retarded”!

(They all laugh hysterically)

Word: Hey I have Auto-Correct turned on, maybe if we just switch it to something else he won’t even notice.

Firefox: No, don’t worry about it guys. Let’s all just tell him “No spelling suggestions” so he’ll give up and pick a different word altogether. Thanks for your help though.

Usually I can just find another word that means the same thing, but for words like “restaurant” there aren’t too many options without everyone thinking you’re some kind of weirdo who only eats at bistros, cafés, and eateries.

The worst is when it actually finds the word I’m trying to type and my fantastical brain is moving faster than my fingers (all the time) and instead of grabbing the mouse and clicking the correct word I accidentally click “Add to Dictionary.” “NO! NO!! NO!!!” I’m yelling in my head, but unfortunately there is no “undo” option to this that I am aware of.

Paper clip animation from Microsoft Word Basically what I have just done is added a misseplled word to my sepll chcek dictoinary and thus next time I missepll that same word (all the time) I will get an otpion that etiher seems corrcet to my brian and I will chsooe it never kwoning it is still misspelled OR, even wosre, it will not even tell me it is misseplled beuacse I misseplled it the smae way agian. This is my wosrt ngihtmrae buacese I know I hvae done this mroe then ocne and I hvae eevn fuond misseplled wodrs in my sepllchecker suggetsions whcih I am POSTVIE I put tehre by a mipslaced cilck!!

Bascially, as the yaers go by I am giong to beocme mroe and mroe uninetlilgible and nveer even konw it! Poeple are jsut giong to thnik that I am slwoly loisng my mnid but prabobly no one wlil tlel me beuacse tehy dno’t wnat to be the baerer of bad nwes to my seemngily fialing mind. Of cuorse who am I kididng here rihgt? Msot of you prabobly thnik I lost my mnid lnog lnog ago, or mabye never raelly had it in the frist plcae.

Source: andreitrostel